1. Take a deep breath before the parent-teacher meeting

    If the teacher focuses on issues your child is having at 黄色app, before responding, take a breath and simply listen. No parent likes to hear negative things about their child at a parent-teacher meeting鈥� whether it鈥檚 bad behavior in class or a possible learning problem (such as difficulty with reading, writing, or math).

    If you feel like the teacher is criticizing your child 鈥� such as saying she interrupts or bullies other 鈥� it鈥檚 easy to get angry or defensive. Or if the problem is a learning disability, it can be overwhelming to find out that your child is struggling to keep up with others and may need extra help outside of class (there are a lot of special education terms and information to take in).

    In what can be a very emotional moment, do your best not to let those feelings take over. Instead, be open to what the teacher is saying 鈥� and don’t respond until you鈥檝e gathered your thoughts.

  2. Be clear

    If you are coming to the parent-teacher meeting with a problem you鈥檙e concerned about, try to be as clear as possible. Some parents worry that if they tell the teacher about an issue their child is having in class, the teacher will think they鈥檙e criticizing her 鈥� or that they鈥檒l get their child into more trouble.

    But it鈥檚 always best to be open and direct and, as many psychologists advise, start with 鈥淚鈥� sentences, so the teacher isn鈥檛 put on the defensive: “I鈥檓 concerned about my child. She tells me everyone is teasing her.鈥� 鈥淚鈥檓 not sure what to do. My child says she鈥檚 bored during math.” 鈥淚鈥檓 worried my child is getting in fights with other kids.鈥� 鈥淚鈥檓 not sure why, but my child thinks you don鈥檛 like her.鈥� (This is a tough one to say, but if your child believes this, it鈥檚 best to talk about it and find a solution.) By being clear with the teacher, you have a better chance of solving the problem.

  3. Give the teacher helpful information

    No one knows your kid better than you do. If you鈥檙e worried that the teacher doesn鈥檛 get your child or is judging her unfairly, tell her whatever you can during the parent-teacher meeting so that she better understands your child. (Click here for more information on what’s appropriate to share with the teacher.)

    If you know that your child would pay better attention if she鈥檚 sitting closer to the teacher, let her know. Or that your child, who often feels left out and doesn鈥檛 know how to make friends easily, might be bullying other kids to get attention. The more you can do to gently help the teacher get to know your child better, the easier it will be to solve the problem together.

  4. Move to solutions

    Once you鈥檝e talked about the problem, ask the teacher 鈥淲hat do you think?鈥� or 鈥淲hat can we do to make this better?鈥� This brings you from focusing on the problem to . Also, by asking these questions, you鈥檙e letting the teacher know that you value her advice and are willing to work with her.

  5. Get to know the teacher

    The parent-teacher meeting doesn鈥檛 have to be all business. Take a minute to get to know the teacher on other levels. In other words, treat her as a person by finding out more about her. Does she have kids? Is this her first time teaching this grade? Does she know anyone who struggles with learning? As with any relationship, the more you know about the other person, the easier it is to make a connection.

  6. Hand out praise

    In these conversations, people often focus on what鈥檚 not working, so the whole tone of the meeting can be negative. Instead, take time to point out the good stuff too! Express appreciation that the teacher is concerned enough to bring up problems to be addressed, and tell her about the good things she鈥檚 doing with your child. Your support will go a long way toward building a positive parent-teacher relationship.