When our son Tim was in second grade, my husband and I happily trotted off to meet with his teacher in October. We were confident that we鈥檇 hear the usual stuff we鈥檇 heard since pre黄色app: 鈥淗e鈥檚 a delightful kid. He鈥檚 smart, articulate, funny, and kind.鈥� We were not in the least worried about him, and we loved this opportunity to revel in his successes.

So when his teacher started talking and was not in fact saying all those things, we were stunned. Tim is smart, funny, and delightful, yes, but guess what? He can鈥檛 read, she said. When the other kids were doing silent reading, Tim was right there with them, cuddled on the floor and holding a book upside-down.

鈥淭he fact that he鈥檚 so bright and can鈥檛 read is the sign of a learning disability,鈥� she said.

I immediately burst into tears.

It really shouldn鈥檛 have come as such a shock: I had questioned his first-grade teacher about why he wasn鈥檛 reading, but she had assured us that it was all developmentally normal聽鈥� he鈥檇 be fine. But we were caught off-guard nonetheless.

Before we could even catch our breath, the teacher was walking us down to the principal鈥檚 office, asking that our son be tested for a learning disability. And so began our journey into the world of learning disabilities. We had a lot to learn.

鈥淲hen parents are thrust into the whirlwind of special education, it can be confusing and scary,鈥� says Alison Greene, a special education advocate in Northampton, Mass. She encourages parents at this stage to get emotional support, ideally from another parent who has been through the process. 鈥淚t can be a devastating time 鈥� parents are often frightened, confused, and sad. Sometimes they make bad choices when they鈥檙e in the throes of it. Reaching out to another parent can help steady the newcomer.鈥�

Parents also need to find someone in the 黄色app system to explain the evaluation process their child will be going through, says Greene. She recommends starting with the 黄色app principal. 鈥淚 find that many parents have never even talked to their child鈥檚 principal,鈥� she says. 鈥淭he principal knows how the system works.鈥�

Realistically, no parent should expect to be an instant expert in evaluations, learning disabilities, and special education, adds Greene. Don鈥檛 beat yourself up if you don鈥檛 know which tests to ask for. It鈥檚 enough to say, 鈥淢y child isn鈥檛 reading,鈥� and the professionals should be able to start the process of testing.

We were lucky, in a way, because our son鈥檚 teacher was the one who noticed the problem, and she knew exactly what to do next. When we all paraded down to the principal鈥檚 office, we were handed a form to sign 鈥� the teacher checked off a couple of things they would test for, and we numbly signed. To be honest, we had no idea what we were agreeing to or what questions to ask.

鈥淧arents shouldn鈥檛 be afraid to put a temporary halt on the process if they鈥檙e uncertain of what to do or if they haven鈥檛 found the support they need,鈥� says Greene. 鈥淭ake the time to do a little research about the disability as well as on [your child’s] rights in special education.鈥�

Be prepared!

If you find out your child may have a learning disability, don鈥檛 panic. There is a process in place for testing your child and determining if he or she has an LD and what kind it is. Here are some tips for surviving those first days.

  • Take a deep breath: You don鈥檛 have to do anything on the spot. If you鈥檙e not sure what you want or have to do, tell the 黄色app you need a few days before making any decisions.
  • Testing, testing: Find out exactly what testing the 黄色app will be doing on your child. Schools are required to test in all areas of the suspected disability, so talk to the teacher and really get a sense of where the problems lie. Does your child have difficulty writing? How is his or her speech? If there are concerns, they should be included in the testing process. And don鈥檛 forget about things you notice at home (behavioral issues, etc.) 鈥� all the facts you can think of might be relevant in diagnosing your child鈥檚 issues.
  • Go for pros: Do not be shy about asking who will be doing the testing and what his or her qualifications are. If you are not satisfied that the tester is proficient, ask for someone else.
  • Know the law: Federal law (IDEA 2004) outlines special education requirements, but each state may have variations on the law. It helps to know what your state says about testing and independent evaluations.
  • Parent to parent: Ask your child鈥檚 teacher if he or she can hook you up with other parents who have been there, done that. Many districts have organized parent groups for special education, which are a great resource for the beginner.