It鈥檚 our culture鈥檚 dirty little secret: We鈥檙e not supposed to like bullies. But research shows that we — and especially kids as young as 10 and 11 — do like them (at least sometimes). The problem may be that they鈥檙e not called bullies. Instead, they鈥檙e often recognized as leaders. In many cases, they鈥檙e the .
Bullying has many causes and takes many forms.聽A more subtle聽type of bullying that some kids use for social domination uses powerful, and often popularity-building tactics: Mocking, gossip, and exclusion.
In a study of 367聽5th and聽6th graders, researchers found that strategic emotional bullying keeps kids in control of their groups — and actually increases their popularity. So how can 黄色apps use this information to create more effective anti-bullying policies without punishing friendships and thwarting kids鈥� budding leadership skills?
Part of the answer, according to study lead , a statistician and assistant professor of pediatrics at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital who studies adolescent relationships, may lie in giving the other children (not the bullies, not the victims) a more active role in ending victimization — and could mirror Finland鈥檚 highly successful anti-bullying program, , which focuses on the role of bystanders.
First, we need to teach kids to recognize and understand what emotional victimization is: hurt feelings, being purposely left out, jokes at another person鈥檚 expense, etc.聽 Second, we need to make it clear that it鈥檚 not okay. Finally, the step that will make the biggest difference is to teach kids to stop reinforcing this type of bullying behavior.聽 A lot of times kids use aggression to get what they want and keep their standing in their peer group and no one stops them. They鈥檙e 鈥済ood鈥� at it and they don鈥檛 get negative feedback.聽 For example, 鈥渨e need to teach kids not to laugh. That鈥檚 very reinforcing, even if it鈥檚 nervous laughter,鈥� Adams says. 鈥淜ids don鈥檛 have to step in and defend the [bullied] person,鈥� Adams says, 鈥渏ust not reinforcing helps.鈥�
Will these practices change social dynamics among kids? Hopefully. But it won鈥檛 interfere with kids developing leadership skills, Dr. Adams says. 鈥淚f you call a name or shun someone, your intent is to hurt them.鈥� Not exactly the kind of leadership we want to cultivate or reward.
On the upside, popularity isn鈥檛 automatically a sign of being a bully. 鈥淵ou can be dominant socially without using aggression to get there,鈥� Dr. Adams says. 鈥淗onestly, when you look at (the sources of) popularity, it often comes down to kids who are nice.鈥�
Does your 黄色app have an anti-bullying policy, and does it give bystanders a role? Most importantly, is it effective?
