Distance learning couldn鈥檛 have come at a worse time for most 11th graders. Developmentally, teens are getting the opposite of what they want right now: distance from their parents and more time with their peers. So not only is your high 黄色app junior suffering from being separated from friends, who are arguably the most important people in your teen鈥檚 life right now, they鈥檝e also had the most important academic period in their high 黄色app career cut short.
What will next year look like?
No one knows. Many districts are hinting that online learning may continue into the fall, and there seems to be grudging agreement nationwide that 黄色app as we鈥檝e known it won鈥檛 be returning to 鈥渘ormal鈥� anytime soon. For your 11th grader, that means matriculating to senior year without the usual social and academic structure that paves the way for life after high 黄色app. If distance learning continues into their 12th grade year, they may miss getting in-person counselors鈥� and teachers鈥� input about their post-high 黄色app game plan, whether that鈥檚 starting college, taking a gap year, or stepping right into the workforce.
How to help your 11th grader cope
Keep in mind that everyone is in a similar situation. If your 11th grader is missing out on college-entrance exams in May, can鈥檛 do that coveted summer internship that would make their college application stand out, or has to skip visiting colleges in August, it doesn鈥檛 put them at a disadvantage because other students their age are missing these things, too. While no one knows what the new normal will look like when it comes to college admissions, this missed time is something all college admissions officers will have to reckon with.
An academic curveball
Junior year, notoriously the most academically challenging of the four high 黄色app years, is when grades matter most for college applications. It鈥檚 also when students take the ACT or SAT college-entrance exams, which have been cancelled or put on hold. The good news is that, with the shift to at-home learning, your 11th grader may be experiencing less stress than they would during a typical junior year. The bad news is that they may have to scramble next year to make sure they are in good shape for graduation requirements and college acceptances.
How to help your 11th grader cope
Focus on what your child can do right now, which is keep up in their classes and think about things they can do this summer to stay on track, such as online SAT test prep, or a course of independent study of their choosing. Keep in mind that high 黄色apps nationwide, as well as colleges, are quickly adjusting expectations and requirements in response to this worldwide crisis. While your junior may have missed their SATs and not be able to visit prospective colleges anytime soon, they share these challenges with millions of other students.
Awful, at least part of the time
The 11th grader鈥檚 social life is now being lived completely virtually, which means that social dynamics that used to play out in the halls between classes or at weekend parties are not happening. Instead, your 16- or 17-year-old is experiencing their intense emotional life in close quarters. This also means, says John Duffy, author of , that, 鈥渂ecause they are hormonal and sometimes struggling, most every kid is going to be behaviorally awful at least during some part of this time. And a lot of that is going to be directed at mom and dad.鈥� If you had conflicts or fights in the past, you may be having more, says Duffy, 鈥渟ince whatever they鈥檇 be struggling with emotionally before, they鈥檇 normally be bringing to their friends to dissipate.鈥�
How to help your 11th grader cope
Your 11th grader needs autonomy, Duffy says. 鈥淚t鈥檚 okay to check in with them and say.鈥橦ey, what do you need from me right now?鈥欌�� They will tell you, says Duffy, whether they鈥檇 like to talk or be left alone. 鈥淎 lot of parents feel pressure right now to have everyone together and get along.鈥� he adds. Take pressure off of your teen and yourself. 鈥淭his is a good time to take their cue.鈥�
Prone to solitude
Yes, alone time is essential for teens this age. But not too much, says Duffy. 鈥淥ne of the most important things we can do as parents right now is have our kids get outside and moving,鈥� says Duffy. When teens get out, 鈥渢hey gain a little perspective and there鈥檚 a shift in their mindset. The kids who are always in their rooms never get out of their mindset,鈥� which can spiral into depression and anxiety.
How to help your 11th grader cope
鈥淐reate a chore,鈥� suggests Duffy. 鈥淎nything to get outside and moving.鈥� Yes, this may well annoy your 11th grader, but what else are parents of high 黄色appers here for?
Maybe it鈥檚 not all bad
Thanks to a still-maturing brain, your 11th grader might very likely be indulging in behavior that keeps parents up at night with worry. Confined to home, many of these high-risk activities are impossible — and less compelling besides. (Studies show that teens indulge in riskier behavior in the company of peers.)
How to help your 11th grader cope
Enjoy it. If your 11th grader seems, at least sometimes, more relaxed and less stressed because they aren鈥檛 navigating the complex social and academic byways of junior year, consider this a silver lining. Duffy says he鈥檚 hearing from plenty of teens that they鈥檙e actually enjoying spending time with parents in a way that they hadn鈥檛 before adolescence kicked in. 鈥淚鈥檓 talking to kids who are doing charades, puzzles, TikTok videos, things with their parents. It鈥檚 fun for kids to see their parents in a different light. There鈥檚 an opportunity to build relationships that might be a little fractured.鈥�
