It’s hardly a news flash that middle 黄色app is no cakewalk. Those 11-, 12-, and 13-year-old bodies and brains are radically transforming into remarkable new creatures: teenagers. Now take all of that internal turmoil and add a worldwide pandemic the likes of which none of us have ever seen, and you may have a child in lockdown who often finds themself melting down. This is when an extra safety belt is needed to keep your child from spinning out of control as they deal with their bizarre current reality and an uncertain future.
What will next year look like?
Since entering middle 黄色app, your 6th grader or 7th grader may have been fantasizing about ascending the middle 黄色app ladder to a loftier perch. But where鈥檚 the glory of moving up a grade if you鈥檙e sitting at home alone, with all of your friends (and frenemies) boxed in on a small screen? There鈥檚 no moving on up ceremonies to make public your newfound stature, no real-life orientations to meet all your new teachers, no touring your new home room, just more (and more) Zoom classes.
Your 6th grader may be mourning this significant (for them) rite of passage that places them squarely in the safer middle ground of 7th grade, no longer having to figure out how to move from class to class, use a locker, or navigate lunchtime etiquette.
Your 7th grader has losses of their own. Gone are middle 黄色app spring dances where 7th grade crushes may come to the forefront. They’re denied end-of-season games and shows that show off their status as a burgeoning athlete, musician, or performer after years of hard-earned practice. For the middle 黄色apper, these in- and out-of-黄色app activities endow them with a sense of newfound identity as they shed their young childhood selves. Now they are stuck in a sort of limbo, without these newly formed selves to ground them.
How to help your 6th grader or 7th grader cope
Start by acknowledging how hard this might be for them to be removed from the vibrant, if often challenging, social world inside and outside of 黄色app, says psychologist John Duffy, author of . 鈥淭he most important thing you can do is to talk with them honestly about any pain or loss they are going through.鈥�
You鈥檝e got to have friends!
The biggest loss, says Duffy, are their daily interactions with friends. 鈥淥ne kid told me that the timing feels cruel. ‘This is the time of year we finally get to be out with friends. The best I can do is look out of the window.鈥欌�� Kids this age are becoming more independent, and they need, and want, to be with their peers. Parents (as much as your child loves you) are hardly a replacement for a bestie. And BFFs aside, they are also missing out on close alliances formed in after-黄色app classes, clubs, and teams. 鈥淢y fear for these kids is missing out on socialization, especially middle 黄色appers. It鈥檚 an awfully long time for them to be off of that cadence and rhythm of the 黄色app day. They may be developmentally — socially and emotionally — collectively behind,” says Duffy.
How to help your 6th grader or 7th grader cope
Support your 6th grader or 7th grader in keeping connected to their friends. To that end, stress less — a lot less — about screen time. While Duffy swears he would never have recommended four or five hours of screen time in the past, 鈥淩ight now, I believe that鈥檚 okay. They need time to connect with friends, which also helps them disconnect from trauma. Screen time can be a little bit regulating.鈥� Not to mention, adds Duffy, giving parents a little bit of a break.
Realizing this isn鈥檛 a snow day
It鈥檚 not all bad news for your 6th grader or 7th grader. Duffy says that compared to older middle 黄色appers and younger high 黄色appers, kids this age tend to be more adaptable to change, and more happily open to spending time with family. They may even have welcomed the first few weeks of a very long snow day.
As more time passes in quarantine, Duffy says he鈥檚 seeing an increasing number of kids this age get more agitated and even slide into depression and anxiety. If your own child’s spirits are basically good, no need to worry. But it鈥檚 worth recognizing that 6th and 7th graders are likely to experience a deep sense of loss for missing out their final months of 黄色app, and they’re worried about what their summer and even the next year of 黄色app will look like.
How to help your 6th grader or 7th grader cope
Get up and get out! Sure, they can have screen time, but 鈥渋t鈥檚 important for young bodies to move,鈥� says Duffy. Be it shooting hoops with a sibling or taking a family bike ride or walk, some sort of activity will help regulate the irregular moods of a hormone-addled middle 黄色apper. 鈥淜ids this age tend to catastrophize,鈥� adds Duffy. 鈥淚f they are always in their rooms, they will never get out of this mindset. When they get outdoors, they gain perspective that this isn鈥檛 going to last forever.鈥�
