Don’t hope the problem will just go away, says Overcoming Math Anxiety author Sheila Tobias. There’s several ways parents can ensure they have a 鈥渕ath-healthy鈥� child. Here’s how.
鈥淲hen your child says ‘I鈥檓 not good at math,’ respond with a counter-factual statement: 鈥榊ou can鈥檛 be bad at math because you鈥檙e so good at tennis and you can calculate when the ball is going to be on your side of the court. You cook and help me half the recipe and together you and I do the calculation. You鈥檙e good at math because last year you were figuring out the mileage on our trip. You鈥檙e good at jigsaw puzzles and are very good at spacial visualization, so you鈥檙e good at math.鈥� Whatever your child does well, I would find a link to math. You鈥檙e really stating a fact that your child does use math all the time and knows how to do it. The frequency of something called dyscalculia 鈥� a real brain inability to do math 鈥� is miniscule. The incidence is so small that the likelihood any child that you or I know has it is virtually zero.
鈥淚f they鈥檙e not good at math, it鈥檚 because of how they are assessed or because they want to be like mom and mom鈥檚 always handing dad the check at dinner to figure out the tip. Or because there鈥檚 a concept that they misunderstand and it鈥檚 like that dropped stitch when you鈥檙e knitting. If they didn鈥檛 get subtraction or division or something along the way is undermining their confidence, this requires further probing. It鈥檚 also worth looking at a math test and how it was graded. Say to your child, 鈥楲et鈥檚 see where you were marked wrong鈥� Chances are they might have been marked wrong for a right answer but for the wrong reason. If you aren鈥檛 sure how to do this, get somebody who does, someone you might know 鈥� a neighbor or relative 鈥� who is competent, confident, and can instruct your child and give your child the confidence.鈥�
Here鈥檚 how 4 other parenting experts say to respond…
Carol Dweck
Stanford researcher and Mindset author Carol Dweck says when kids utter this common refrain, respond using a powerful word that changes everything. Format: Video (0:42)
Danica McKellar
“Math isn’t for nerds!” says Danica McKellar, best-selling author of Kiss My Math. She wants kids, especially girls, to know they can learn to love math. Format: Article
Erica Reischer
Instead of focusing on whether they’re “good” or “bad” at something, help kids see the value of hard work, says parent coach and psychologist Erica Reischer. Format: Video (1:41)
Frances Spielhagen
Frances R. Spielhagen, author of The Algebra Solution to Mathematics Reform, says parents can change their child’s math-aversion by taking this multi-pronged approach.Format: Article
