The problem: My child has a bad attitude and doesn鈥檛 treat me with respect.
Consider what you mean by respect.
Try this: Are you worried that your child isn鈥檛 learning to be considerate? Could your child be expressing anger through disrespectful comments? Do you think they鈥檝e learned this behavior from TV shows or peers? Reflect on what bothers you about your child鈥檚 behavior before you try to fix it.
Try this: Focus on feelings instead of behavior. In a neutral, non-accusatory tone, share how your child鈥檚 behavior makes you feel. Ask your child to think about how they would feel if you acted that way.
You may be surprised.
Avoid this: A lot of things can trigger a bout of sass. Your child could be imitating older kids鈥� behavior. It鈥檚 even possible they鈥檙e imitating your behavior. Could be your child feels they need to break away from you and establish their independence. Don鈥檛 draw conclusions until you鈥檝e played detective.
Tell your child what you expect in positive terms.
Say this:
- 鈥淚鈥檇 like you to look me in the eye, so I know you鈥檙e listening.鈥�
- 鈥淧lease sit up and put your feet on the ground, not on the table.鈥�
Don鈥檛 try to out sass or threaten your child.
Don鈥檛 say:
- 鈥淭hanks a lot!鈥�
- 鈥淒on鈥檛 give me that 鈥榯ude! You know what happens to spoiled little dirt clods who disrespect their elders? Ha ha ha, you don鈥檛 wanna know.鈥�
Why
Respect should be about human decency, not authority or power. Make sure you鈥檙e giving your child the same kind of respect you expect from them. A polite voice. Consideration. Avoid sarcasm, threats, and name calling.
Children develop attitudes for many reasons, but experts believe that it鈥檚 often a way to get attention from adults. Why might your child want attention? What might be a positive way of giving your child what they need without allowing them to be rude to you?
