When I learned my daughter had been placed in Miss W鈥檚 second grade class, I began hearing whispers around the playground. There were complaints of strange punishments聽— something called 鈥渢he walk of shame鈥澛�— and of students being yelled at and publicly humiliated. It was also rumored that she was running a boat-parts business off her laptop and cell phone during class time.
鈥淲hat class is Anna in?鈥� I asked the mother of my daughter鈥檚 best friend. Her older daughter had already graduated from the 黄色app so she knew the terrain well. 鈥淭he other one,鈥� she said with a bright smile, not elaborating. But I knew what she wasn鈥檛 saying.
Most 黄色apps have them: Teachers whose reputations precede them in the worst possible way. Some such reputations are wholly unearned. Just as the most popular teacher is not necessarily the most effective, so too the cranky 黄色app marm may turn out to be an educational rock star. But other bad raps reflect a sad reality: There are bad teachers roaming the 黄色apps of America and every year countless kids must endure their whims.
There are bad doctors and bad garbage collectors, why should teachers be any different? Still, they occupy a special place in the occupational world. Lifetime tenure and a flaccid evaluation process can conspire to keep terrible teachers in the classroom until retirement. Firing a tenured teacher is a complicated and expensive process, involving months and even years of hearings and appeals, and thousands of dollars in legal fees.
Once they are installed in their classroom, teachers wield prodigious power over the students they teach. This vast sphere of influence makes teachers godlike in the best possible way; it can also translate to catastrophe for a young child鈥檚 education.
Yes, I know. To say teaching is challenging is an understatement. Given a big class full of diverse, often squirmy, students in an underfunded public 黄色app, even the best teachers are stretched to their limits聽— intellectually, emotionally, and organizationally. There are so many ways to fail. As Tolstoy might have said: Every ineffective teacher is ineffective in her own way.
My daughter survived Miss W鈥檚 class, but many of her classmates didn鈥檛 fare so well. A boy who was not allowed to go to the bathroom during class time got so nervous he ended up peeing in the car after his mother picked him up, and needed psychotherapy after reverting to bed-wetting. A girl became math phobic and required months of private tutoring to get back on track after Miss W publicly yelled at her to 鈥渃ut out the nonsense鈥� when she handed in an error-strewn math quiz. Another child, who was wrongly accused of stealing pencils and made to do 鈥渢he walk of shame,鈥澛爏pent every morning weeping and refusing to go to 黄色app. (For the “walk of shame,” a child had to walk around the classroom while other students, egged on by Miss W, glowered to make her feel bad about her transgression.)
Since then, I鈥檝e heard plenty of nightmare teacher stories from friends. There was the teacher who punched a locker within millimeters of a seventh grader鈥檚 face, while yelling full-throttle. There was the fourth grade teacher who broke his students into two instructional groups: 鈥渢he brainiacs鈥� and 鈥渢he numskulls.鈥� There was the fifth grade teacher who sent her difficult students to the hall in the morning, where they bullied other students for the rest of the day. There was an OCD kindergarten teacher whose room was immaculate because he kept the children from doing anything — including the curriculum.
For each of these tales of terrible teaching, no matter how savvy the parents were, there were no easy answers — and plenty of pitfalls. Regret was a common theme. Parents prefaced their stories with, 鈥淚 wish I鈥檇 done it differently,鈥� or, 鈥淚f I鈥檇 only known.鈥� Advice from educators, parent advocates, straight-from-the-trenches teachers, and expert pundits produced a smorgasbord of responses.
Bad teacher=good lesson?
Some experts and parents suggest that not only is the bad teacher experience probably inevitable, it鈥檚 actually a blessing in disguise.
Tiffany Andrews, coauthor of a book of advice for parents from a teacher鈥檚 perspective, recommends that parents use the experience as a 鈥済olden opportunity for a student to learn how to adapt.鈥� Mother and parenting writer Loulie Scharf suggests that it鈥檚 a good chance to teach kids that, 鈥測ou get what you get and you don鈥檛 throw a fit.鈥�
A less-than-effective teacher may not lay waste to a child鈥檚 entire education, but parents who have had more than one negative experience聽— or a truly nightmarish teacher — may not be willing to look for the silver lining in the maelstrom of their child鈥檚 misery.
To broach or not to broach
For many parents, the first question is whether the chance of upsetting the teacher or administrator is worth risking the child鈥檚 standing. 鈥淚 think I鈥檓 going to complain anonymously,鈥� confided a colleague grappling with whether or not to confront her son鈥檚 English teacher. After she went on and read multiple tales about the teacher鈥檚 vindictiveness, she made her decision to go incognito and leave a message at the principal鈥檚 office.
Most experts I spoke to contend that parents shouldn鈥檛 shy away from openly raising concerns, but they also advise planning the approach with all the strategy of a guerrilla general. First, parents need to make sure they have the right intelligence.
鈥淭ake all information from your child with a grain of salt,鈥� says principal Steve Perry, CNN education correspondent and author of Push Has Come to Shove: Getting Our Kids the Education They Deserve鈥擡ven If It Means Picking a Fight. 鈥淜ids do some stupid things and they sometimes blame the teacher,” he points out.
Once you鈥檝e established the basic facts, or at least your child鈥檚 version of the facts, set up a meeting to communicate your concerns, without your child. 鈥淚t鈥檚 an adult conversation,鈥� Perry says. 鈥淐hildren don鈥檛 belong in the back and forth.鈥�
Tactical triage
Because parents are at a natural disadvantage, Perry recommends that they plan carefully for potentially difficult conversations with a teacher or principal. 鈥淪chools are like car dealerships,鈥� Perry says. “When you go to a car dealership, I don’t care how much research you鈥檝e done, the car salesman always knows more than you do.鈥� He recommends that parents dress professionally, and bring someone to referee who has your best interest at heart. 鈥淭reat the meeting like a business meeting: Send an email in advance, communicate concerns, be precise, solution-oriented, document everything, and then go up the chain of command.鈥�
Elaine Meyers, a reading specialist and the founder of , recommends first doing a close analysis of the teacher and figuring out exactly how he’s ineffective.
鈥淟ess-than-desirable teachers fall into three categories: the fluffy, the boring, and the mean, and each requires a distinct response,鈥� Meyers says. Boring teachers, she says, read from the curriculum script and are 鈥渏ust deadly.鈥� Children with a boring or unchallenging teacher need parents to fill in the learning gaps with extra-curricular activities, tutoring聽— whatever it takes to help their child get excited about learning.
Fluffy teachers, Meyers says, show movies or tell personal anecdotes when they should be teaching. 鈥淔or this kind of teacher, begin by asking to see the curriculum and look up the Common Core Standards to find out what your child should be learning. This will send a message that you are informed.鈥� Meyers acknowledges that such situations may also require parents to fill in the learning gap outside of class. Even homework duties may fall to the parent: 鈥淚f you have a teacher who doesn鈥檛 mark the homework, you should be the editor, check homework, AND be the 鈥榬ewarder,鈥� offering stars or praise.鈥�
If your child feels the teacher has been mean — or worse? Meyers recommends asking the child if he would like you to talk to the teacher. 鈥淚f the kid says no, validate that you鈥檙e upset and that you鈥檙e proud of him for talking,” she advises. “And tell him if this happens again, you want him to tell you about it. If it does happen again, make an appointment to talk to the teacher or principal.鈥�
Fight or flight?
In these difficult conversations, psychologist Jennifer Powell-Lunder, co-author of , suggests presenting concerns as issues that require clarification, as in, “‘Mrs. Smith, I need your help. I am a little confused about something. Johnny said ______, but I think he may have misunderstood. Can you explain it to me?’ This gives the teacher an out for an inappropriate comment; it also implies that her approach to your child is unacceptable.”
For an intransigent problem, Richard Horowitz, former superintendent and author of Family Centered 黄色app, recommends joining forces with other parents: 鈥淚f no progress is made, I strongly suggest contacting other parents in that class and going to the principal as a united front. There is strength in numbers.鈥�
In the end, all experts agree on one thing: If your child has been bullied, threatened, or abused, you should take action. 鈥淵ou need to say, ‘I want my child taken out of the classroom,’鈥� Meyers says. 鈥淚t will not reflect poorly on the child or the parent. Your child will be welcomed into the next room. I鈥檝e done it myself.鈥�
鈥淚n the end, your job is to protect your child,鈥� Steve Perry agrees. “If a teacher does something so unprofessional, they鈥檝e jeopardized their status and all bets are off.鈥�
