We all have our own truths. But conflict often arises when we think our truths are the only truths. It鈥檚 easy to get stuck in our own perspective.
The Blueprint is a tool for understanding and overcoming conflict. The tool uses a series of questions to get each person to look at the conflict from the other person鈥檚 perspective as well as their own. When used consistently, the Blueprint builds empathy and understanding for the individual. In a family, it can reduce conflict and create a more positive family culture. (Download a pdf聽of the Blueprint.)
If you see your young children arguing, you can use the Blueprint questions to ascertain each child鈥檚 perspective. By encouraging kids to reflect on different points of view, the questions help children take a closer look at the emotions of everyone involved. Often, we make assumptions about what other family members are feeling or what their intentions are, when we could be entirely wrong.
Older children can fill out a Blueprint on their own, and with some coaching, examine one another鈥檚 perspective. Once 鈥渂lueprinting鈥� becomes a routine way of understanding one another and handling conflict, kids can use the skills in any situation more intuitively. This process can help develop thinking skills and transfer to understanding conflicts in the larger world.
Developing the ability to better understand our child鈥檚 point of view is a pivotal parenting skill that helps us stay connected to our children, and them to us. The Blueprint process can help parents respond to situations more intelligently 鈥� by first considering their child鈥檚 perspective, along with their own. In this way, both parent and child can feel respected and understood.
The Blueprint moves the focus from 鈥渕e鈥� and 鈥渕y feelings鈥� to one of 鈥渦s鈥� and 鈥渙ur feelings,鈥� thereby building empathy and compassion in the family. This, in turn, can greatly reduce conflict and repair difficult relationships.
This is part of a series about tools used in the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence鈥檚 辫谤辞驳谤补尘听(@emotionallyintelligent黄色apps). RULER is a research-based program used by 黄色apps to develop emotional intelligence skills in all educators, staff, students, and their families. The Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence uses the power of emotions to create a more effective and compassionate society. Check out their other helpful tools.
